Enchanted Chameleon

~ mother's day wish list ~

I don't think that I'll speak for all mama's with this list but I think I'm ecclectic enough with my wishes that there is something for everyone!  

1.  A tattoo - I wonder how many times I will post this on my blog before it eventually ends up on my arm.  Will settle for my child's name as well.

2.  Red Velvet Double Velvet Bow in Flamingo - You can actually get me one in every colour but I assure you this is my favourite colour.  And Lemonade.  And Whipped Cream.  And Licorice.

3.  Washi Tape -  In this case I really don't have a favourite.  They are all just so cute and pretty and far more interesting than regular tape.  If I received this I would also require a lock box. This is for MAMA ONLY!

4.  Dexter Season 4 or The Office Season 7.  I'm a Netflix girl not a cable girl so I'm always seasons behind.  And yes, I acknowledge my listing this comes during my no TV week and no, it is not because I'm in withdrawal.  This list is simply a reflection of things to spoil me with and they say that TV does spoil the mind.

5.  Lauren Hobo Wallet -  If you saw the current state of affairs with the wallet I'm using now, you would buy me a wallet.  If you love me, you'll buy me this wallet.  If you worship me, you'll find it in silver.

6.  Spa - Ever heard the quote "Always bet on black".  Ya well, when it comes to Mother's Day a spa treatment is a sure thing.  I can never have enough.  I will never get enough.  In fact, I'm sure when I signed up for this whole mothering thing, I assumed that giving spa treatments were a no brainer and would therefore easily receive them at least once a year.  Hint hint.

7.  For the Practical Gift Giver - A nice new pair of fabric scissors that never leave the studio or sewing basket or are even used by anyone else safe a sewer would be nice.  I remember my mom had a pair (that I used on stuff besides fabric, oh mom now I know!).  Lockbox required for this gift too.  See #3 - Washi Tape.

8.  Nikon SB-900 Speedlight -  On the off chance that my family wins the lottery in the next week (which would mean we would have to start playing the lottery this week) I would love Love LOVE a proper flash for my camera.  Reflectors not included but accepted.

9.  Weekend Getaway - I'm so in love with The Saguaro, a groovy and colourful hotel in Palm Springs that I recently discovered in the blogesphere.  When asked to go to my happy place in the future, I might start going here.  It is a little far from Vancouver and pretty much out of our price range these days. Luckily, I'm accepting weekend getaways at par and will happily have the house all to myself for a minimum of 8 hours, preferably overnight.  That means the dog too.

10.  And finally, the gift that no one ever buys me off my Amazon.com Wish List because no one understands what it is for.  Specifically, I have had the Wooden Birthday Ring from Maplerose (Canadian Waldorf Toys and Supplies) on my wish list for a long time.  All I want is the wooden ring.  I've been really wanting to create a months of the year ring like the one pictured above, created by Mama Roots and if I could just get my paws on the ring, oh! there might actually be new months of the year every year for every year I get a new idea to celebrate the year. 

And that's that!  My 2012 Mother's Day roundup!  XO.  S

~ gray ~

Day 3 of no TV this week.  I was busy as a bee crafting last night, all the while thinking of Skully and Mulder and how it couldn't possibly hurt anyone if they were on while I was sewing.  I was pretty positive that I would still get all that I was getting done if the TV was on.  Ya right.  Who am I kidding.  And so today I plunged into painting my long overdue bedroom.  I see a pattern. Either I'm full on lazy and checked out in front of the tube at night or I'm a manic getter-doner. I think the real goal should be for me to find the gray area, the happy medium where creating and getting-dones are balanced with a little tube time here and there.  

In the meantime, my room is painted!  And I have new hair accessories.  Will share soon.  Happy hump day.  XO.  S

~ lessons de le macaron ~

Sometimes I feel like to move forward I need to step back first.  Like when it comes to working in the kitchen.  I went from living off of nachos, KD and subs in my early 20's, to a raw foods diet in my late 20's with no sense of the middle of the road, everyday average ways of cooking in between.  

So sometimes I just need to try things out to see what they are like for the sake of experimentation.  Like yesterday, I made French macarons.  This was a second attempt.  Last time, they turned out as bubbled crisps that I had to scrape off the cookie sheet. I realize that French macarons aren't necessarily middle of the road baking but I'm intrigued by them, see them from blog to blog and think they are sure pretty to look at.   So somewhere in my head I figure, I have to at least make them the regular way and then maybe I could find some way to make them healthier or at least, my way.

So here's what I learned:

::  Those puppies are pure sugar.  Whoa Nelly!  My teeth are hurting just thinking about it.

::  Whipping eggs into stiff peaks with a hand egg beater isn't really as hard as I thought.  I see Pavlova's in my future.

::  It is really exciting to see them come out in the puffed up shape that they are supposed to come out like.  Especially post flat bubbly crisps that looked nothing like what they are supposed to look like.

::  Spraying water underneath the parchment paper on cooling cookies (or at least in my case, vegetable spray cleaner cause we had no water spray bottle) is THE way to have cookies that are parchment paper free.  YUM 

::  What really intrigues me the most about French macaron's are the pretty 1960's pastel pinks and greens that I see them in.  Maybe I just need to paint something.

On a completely unrelated to baking note, I also learned yesterday that my dog is not ready to be off leash on a walk in my neighbourhood.

Big learning day.  XO.  S

~ outstanding stuff ~

::  anna and the mexican weekend  ::

Well, I tell you.  It is no easy task to get a post up on Monday when I close Sunday night till 11 pm and have to be back at work at 9 am the next morning.  No real time for me between the 6:30 wake up to walk the dog, pack C's lunch, get me ready, get C ready and get to school.  OY! Sometimes I ask myself what I've gotten myself into...

Well, I tell ya, what I've gotten myself into.  An awesome job and a second family!  That's what.  I love my job at Whole Foods.  Mainly because I love my co-workers.  There are just so many awesome people to be with.  After my hectic morning of getting up and getting C off I get to work and I feel like I can relax.  Imagine that?  I mean, aren't we supposed to love our jobs?

::  me and my awesome whole foods fashion statement.  it was an awesome hair day  ::

So loving my job has made it super easy to be involved with Whole Foods life.  Like joining a committee, getting behind the fundraising, bringing in the Juice Caboose (I think that's a win for me mostly!), learning from experiences, learning from co-workers, learning the products, etc, etc, etc.  I mean who can't love a small army of people that can't believe I'm in my mid-thirties!  

::  rachel and adam and the great big heirloom tomato  ::

This job has brought my value back.  Something I didn't realize I was missing being a stay-at-home mom.  I mean I didn't mean to lose it, or even doubted that I didn't have it but being around such great people has really brought it to the surface.  I am loved.  And I sure do love back!  That might explain the 'glow' that a friend from outside the store said I had when he was passing through one day.  

As if it wasn't enough to feel great about myself all the time working at Whole Foods, they go and top it off and give me an award.  I couldn't believe it.  In fact I didn't.  I told the first two people that congratulated me for receiving the Outstanding Team Member of the Month (for the entire store of 300+ employees) that they had the wrong person.  I really thought that.  My mistake.  Someone showed me the poster that went up around the store and sure enough that was my name in the winner box.  So in true Whole Foods fashion not only do I receive such an honour but I receive a sweet little gift card to boot to go with it.  

Here's my outstanding little purchases...

A little Diva Cup for my inner Diva and some Tamanu Oil for my outer Diva.

Thanks Whole Foods!  For the inspiration and of course the paycheck and all the great new friends and connections I've made.  And for everyone out there looking for some inspiration of their own, a quote from the great Aristotle and the board in our staff area!  XO.  S

~ somebody that I used to know ~

One more song for the week.  I saved this one, my favourite video for last.  This video is just amazing to me.  And Kimbra - gorgeous!  Love her hair and her ways.  Enjoy.  XO.  S

~ right now :: april 3 ~

::  I'm consciously breathing

::  I'm trying to fake it till I make it with happiness and self confidence for certain issues in my life

::  I'm wearing glitter flowers on my face that C gave to me

::  I'm super sweaty from my dog walk with Georgia and C

::  I'm doing laundry.  Georgia loves laundry day.  I love Georgia.

::  C is wearing an afro wig wanting to listen to LFMAO Party Rock Anthem

::  Half admiring, half not admiring the wrinkles in my neck in the photo above.  Where did they come from?

::  Looking at my "Things I Don't Want To Do List".  Half proud that I crossed one off.  Half scared at the length of it. 

::  Wondering what to do next...

::  Thinking dance party then bake a cake (plus more laundry)

XO.  S

~ rising up, rising above ~

My experience as a parent has been interesting lately.  Besides the fact that I have gone from stay at home mom to full time working mom, my son is a different little boy now.  He's 5.  He's school age.  He's taller, bigger, stronger, more talkative (lord love a duck is he talkative), more demanding, more loving, more everything and everything else in between.  With this change from toddler to boy, I've recently noticed a change in his interactions with others.  It hasn't been so much his interactions with his school mates that caught my attention, there is the usual little one that kind of gives all the children a run for the money, but his interactions with other children, most often children that are just a little older than him, unknown to him at the skating rink, the swimming pool and most recently the hockey game that makes an uncomfortable feeling rise up in me.  Mostly what I see is, C being his usual self.  Talking away, lost in his imagination, chatting it up with new friends, being super social and trying to make the crowd laugh.  What I don't see anymore is the, 'oh what a cute little thing' look that always came along with him being a baby or toddler.  Now what I see is, little boys on skates trying to get away from him, little girls rolling their eyes and whispering and trying to get away from him and children making him sit in a seat away from them.  

Do you hear that?  That's the sound of my heart breaking.

When I was little I was an oddball.  I didn't know popular music, I didn't dress like everyone else, I didn't think like everyone else and I certainly wasn't included with everyone else.  I didn't realize there was anything wrong with me.  Truly, there wasn't, but it sure as heck felt like there was after a long time of not being included in things and after that while I did my best to fit in, to not much avail.  My experience of this really didn't start until I was preteens but there were still happenings of it that I recall as early as kindergarten.  I wasn't equipped with strong role models of self confidence at home so I sure as heck didn't know how to stick up for myself, in fact the only way I was able to cope was to usually break down and cry.

And now, the thing that I have most dreaded about being a mama to C, has begun.  

Sometimes when I'm close enough, when these little happenings occur, I make eye contact with the children that he is interacting with and I see it in their eyes.  There is guilt or fear when they look back at me like I'm going to call them on their behaviour and get them into trouble.  They know that they are being mean.  But I don't interfere... much.  Sometimes my little eye to eye is enough to satisfy myself, to know that they know, that I KNOW.  

But oh, what to do about the uncomfortable feelings?  Obviously I have unresolved issues about being bullied.  Most likely because in some ways as an adult I still allow myself to be bullied.  I'm working on those.  Believe me.  But to see my little babe, still oblivious to the looks, to the ignorance.  I don't want to be a giant mama bear that takes away his power to resolve the situation and learn how to cope and take care of himself.  But boy oh boy does mama bear want to maul those little out of line cubs.  

So it is my job to rise above.  Because there is nothing wrong with C.  He's an oddball perhaps by some societal norm, or simply because he's being raised by a reigning oddball, he doesn't see that and I would prefer to keep him exactly as he is and is meant to be because after all the years of conforming to fit in, I found happiness as an adult by returning to my oddball roots.  I don't want him to lose touch, ever.  One thing I truly miss as an adult that I gave up as a child to conform and fit in was my naivety.  I see C is still pure and strong with the force of naivety.  I want to protect that, and if anything model the best behaviour that I can so that oddball or not, he makes strong choices from a place of confidence and not fear or wanting.  

Most of all I want him to continue to look at those other children the same way that he does now. With love.  He sees so much goodness in them.  Perhaps he is just much stronger than I am or was.  Regardless, I want to keep that.  Screw the bitterness that I have lived with for so long. Together we will learn together to keep our integrity, love the planet and all the people on it.  XO.  S

~ whitney ~

Whitney was my first album.  It was a tape that I played over and over in my ghetto blaster.  Later I would buy my first single LP of "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" and play it over and over on my birthday present stereo - double tape deck with record player.  

I just rocked out to this song a few days ago when it came on at work.  

We all have vices.  I can't imagine having them under the public's scrutiny.  Whitney's passing makes me sad but it makes me slow down and check in.  She was only just 12 years older than me and it feels a little too close for comfort.  

Am I in touch with my vices?  Am I taking care of myself?  Dearest Whitney, Rest In Peace.  Let us all pause and take it in.  Let not your life and death be in vain.  XO.  S

~ 1000th post :: a giveaway ~

Back in September 2008 I set out to eat raw foods for 3 months and I tracked it on Facebook for all my friends and family to see and to keep me accountable.  During that time I was at a local bookstore and I came across a book called The Creative Family by Amanda Blake Soule.  I noticed she had a website and I decided to check it out.  I spent the night going through all of her old blog posts until that present day. I had discovered the world of blogging.  I had discovered that there were women, real women, women like me that wanted to be at home, to sew, to bake, to be with their children.  This had been my dream when I was 18 years old.  Everyone else was going to University and I wanted to get married, have a farm house and raise a herd of children.  I felt out of place, but no longer.  My people were out there and now with the incredible invention of Internet I was closer to them than could be imagined.

I began the Enchanted Chameleon a few months later and just started experimenting.  I started that year off with a blast.  I would try everything that I wanted to do and start narrowing down what I really loved from there.  Knitting was a surefire keeper.  By the end of that year I was a knitter.  By the end of the next year I was dabbling more into photography and the next sewing and now Juice Caboosing.  I made a lot of dreams come true through the inspiration of other bloggers.  I love writing.  I love posting here.  I am probably my biggest blog fan.  I am probably the one that goes back and reads the most.  I love seeing changes.  I love seeing my growth.  I love this place.  

And I love you.  Sure this ain't no SouleMama blog, I'm okay with that.  I'm still figuring out my place in this world and your support and following helps me along.  I once read from cover to cover The Artist's Way.  I did every single exercise and followed through on Morning Pages for nearly a year.  Just finishing it was a milestone.  I learned a lot.  Carved out space for myself, my artist.  I started to appreciate me more.  When I stopped doing Morning Pages it was because this space took over.  These are my morning pages now.  As well as my photo album, my recipe book and my life's work.  I love coming here and I just want to say thank you for coming here too!

Today Enchanted Chameleon is 1000 Posts Older!  To celebrate I wanted to Giveaway 1 of the buntings posted in the photos above.  There are 3 to pick from:  Retro Kitchen, Japanese Doily and Courduroy Butterflies.  Just leave a comment on this blog post on the blog (not Facebook) about what you love or what you don't.  Help the Enchanted Chameleon make it to another 1000 posts but sooner!  Comments are open until Midnight PST on Monday January 16th.  XO.  S

~ intentions for 2012 ~

I hope your holiday celebrations were all that you hoped for.  Relaxing, rejoicing, rejuventating.  When asked how my Christmas day was I answered awesome.  Awesome for the big nap, and the big dinner.  I still could have used another day or two and about 5 more naps but it was great all the same.  I am still basking in sleeping in for another week.  C has another week till he is back at school and I'm in full advantage of being in bed as long as I can muster each morning.  

So.  Onto the New Year.  How many people are off to the gym today?  Hands?  Anyone?  I'm sorry.  I'm not mocking.  It is a good resolution.  I have in the past made that one, broken that one and even succeeded at that one.  But there is something really great for me about not having that one as my resolution.  For me it shows growth and self awareness.  No longer focused just on my body but also eating and exercising well enough all the time now that my life doesn't need a sudden adjustment in that area.  Or any area really.  I'm pleased that as I review my intentions for the New Year that nothing is extreme.  As I seek more balance I am rewarded with more balance and I believe that it is reflected in my intentions.  I am intentionally using the word intention instead of resolutions.  It feels as though they have better, well, intentions.  Perhaps I need a new Thesaurus this year.  Resolving something seems too final and I find myself often in a place of 'never say never' that I prefer to steer clear of. Intentions feels like I'm open to what I want but not closed off to the possibilities that life itself can contribute to them or even closed off to the new things that I don't even know about that might come up.  With good intentions, here are mine for 2012.  

1.  I intend to begin reading the Little House on the Prairie Series.  I managed to score most of them for a buy one get one free at a thrift store.  I didn't even know that they were books until a few years ago and I loved the TV series when I was little.  A friend told me that this was a series that she loved to reread growing up and that really peaked my interest.  I was more of a romance novel "Sweet Dreams" kind of girl back then.  Well, these day a far sweeter dream would be a real little house in the big woods.  I'll start with a fictional one.  

::  photo source  ::

2.  Every day I check 'my blogs', meaning I check specific blogs every day for inspiration.  One of them is A Beautiful Mess by Elsie Larson.  I love her style, her house style, her passion and her photography. Currently I'm obsessed with wondering how she finds the time and so many great locations for taking all of her blogs pictures.  My only answers are coffee, no sleeps and no kids.  Anyway, I just LOVE checking out her comfortable way behind and in front of the camera and I'm hoping to get out more with my camera, behind and in front of.  A few things that my photo library lacks are photos of me and interesting photos of my projects.  I blame our small space with poor lighting.  And so I intend to get out more in the hood and explore and give myself the little gift of additional time and creativity.  

::  print source  ::

3.  Turns out I'm ready to start dating again.  Dating my husband that is.  Sounds a bit silly but with all the Juice Caboose hoora last year our date nights dwindled down.  I'm hoping that we can get back into a regular routine again.  

::  photo source  ::

4.  This year I intend to get very specific about my finances, both personal and the Juice Caboose.  

5.  This year I also intend to get a Juice Caboose website up and running.  

::  photo source  ::

6.  This year I intend to revive my passion for fashion.  There was a time, way back in the day when I sported funky dresses and nylons, painted my nails every day and sketched out pictures of other outfits that I would love to create.  I've rediscovered this little part of myself in reading the A Beautiful Mess blog.  I'm no longer looking for a standout fashion style because when I swing too far one with things I begin to crave the other way.  Like if I eat too many sweets I want salt.  I'm hoping to bring comfort and flare together.  I love funky finds but I really discovered last year that my closet is just funky finds and totally comfortable clothes that don't mix.  I'm looking to mix classic and a bit of retro and a little bit of me.  I want to do my hair.  Seems silly but something more than a bun on top of my head does a lot for my appearance.  Part of the inspiration for this is also working at Whole Foods.  I see lots of people with style and well, I see lots of people.  Not like being tucked into the back of a truck blending smoothies. I've been trying it out and I like it.  Just a certain sweater and jeans or a funky scarf and a blouse.  It's working and I'd like to keep exploring it.

7.  I intend to start having a weekly (perhaps just monthly to begin with) family game night.  I think the key to this is the same night every week and maybe even the same easy to make food.  Perhaps gluten free pizza?  We got a lot of great games over the holiday's and C is really into playing them.  I especially love Crazy 8's.  We had a few great rounds on New Year's Eve.

::  photo source  ::

8.  The next intention is two fold.  I intend to finish de-cluttering my house.  In the process of that, I hope to begin some helpful household routines.  Getting out the recycling on a schedule, maybe assigning duties, a daily routine of cleaning up the toys, things that flow in our schedule and end up being easy to remember and a part of the rhythm of our days.

::  photo by Ella Pedersen  ::

9.  I intend to set up a regular work schedule for Juice Caboose.  I don't mean the hours that Juice Caboose is in operation, I mean the office work hours that I put in to get it up and running.  In that I also hope to get more blog posts out, at least once a week which includes juice and smoothie recipes and finish the enormous task of completing a business plan in order to get funding for a new generator.  I fully intend to get one of those.

10.  Finally, I intend to continue on my journey of self discovery and awakening.  I intend to continue to learn how to be gentle with myself.  And more than anything I intend to continue to stay present and slow down.  XOXO.  S