Today in Canada it is Pink Shirt Day. Pink Shirt Day is an anti-bully movement started in Nova Scotia when a boy was bullied for wearing a pink shirt on the first day of school. I'm very passionate about the anti-bully movement. I was bullied. I was an easy target: sensitive and different but there is never an excuse for it.
Except, in the past few years I've done some thinking. I finally got over what the girls did to me when I was young. It took a really long time. It took being a parent. I noticed in my own son that if we used little threats, 'no TV if you don't do such and such" that he didn't learn to do such and such. He learned to use threats with us and his friends and others around us. "I won't go to bed unless you do such and such". The bullied becomes the bully. I have become extremely careful to not use these tactics. I want to raise a caring and compassionate little boy. I have to slow down, get enough rest and really tune in to my sons behaviours to understand why he acts the way he acts and to meet him without power struggles. And it's so worth it.
So if you're wondering what you can do to help support the anti-bully movement, to see a world where our hopeful children are not killing themselves because of isolation and hatred, the place to start is in our very own homes. We can change the learned behaviours that we teach our children to compassion and caring. Our world and our future depends on them.
My absolute favourite resources for parenting:
Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn
How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Fabor
These are the resources that I am using to ensure my language and my parenting best supports a child and a parent with the least amount of power struggles. Win-Win-Win. XO. S
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