C's been a little under the weather the past couple of weeks. I've been trying my best to keep him close, home from school and rested on days that I have off and also to listen to him and respect his instincts. Not an easy task by any means. All last week he didn't want to go to school and now that the week has passed and he didn't say the same this morning I realize I'm getting closer to understanding that staying home was in fact temporary and because of how he felt, not because he never wanted to go back to school again, like he said. I would have been safe to follow his instincts.
We had lots of catch up time, or at least that's how it felt. I let him relax on the cozy chair and watch a bunch of TV. That's what I feel like doing when I feel yucky so I respected the same for him. I caught up on some knitting and other work that's been lingering while he overdosed on Magic School Bus. As soon as other things, like making Valentine Days cards or helping papa with the trailer reno came up he was raring to go and the TV watching slowly dissipated. It was a nice cozy few days. It was just missing a warm fire.
Although I'm feeling a little awkward and out of sorts from our current lack routine and rules that I essentially tossed for the sake of observation and experimentation to see what my child would initiate and respond to, it was worth it. I learned a lot last week and again am feeling a little more connection and understanding. There are a lot more "mama I love you's" and a lot less power struggles, so I think that I may be onto something. Some day I hope to find the balance between following the direction that the child leads us and the essential parental boundaries to keep us feeling comfortable and fulfilled. I feel that I am on the right track and that is satisfaction enough. Oh, and there can never be enough child initiated "mama, I love you's". XO. S
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